Ashamed of myself

I feel ashamed to say that even my own friends are so bitchy.
One can be in a relationship for months, acting sweet and stuff..
but doing so many things behind their partner's back.

Enough of relationships with humans.

Went XH for prac last Sunday..
Each week seems to demoralise me even more than the previous.
What can I say? I'm poor so I can't afford to study in a music school?
I don't understand man. So what if you can afford, that doesn't give you the rights to show people your attitude since we are all guest players.
So missy, I have to lend you my scores and see your black face?
Whatever it is, it's none of my business.
Venture into music for all I care >:

It sucks when you know everyone's identity.
On my left is someone majoring in Erhu, on my right is someone majoring in Erhu, behind me is someone majoring in Erhu. Wow, so i'm what? I'm majoring in Management. Yay?
Worse still, it's my second time seeing the scores. My second time is like much worse than their first time.
Hey, that's totally demoralising kayy.
C'mon, if you give me all the C, D, F, G, A. I can sightread as well too!
Bflat, Eneutral, SERIOUS?
sucks man, and the songs are like insane speed.
Did I mention that the songs are concertos, which means it's like pages and pages, songs and songs.

Damn man, should not have agreed to guest play. T.T
But on the sake of my senior and those famous/popular musicians there.......
I SHALL PERSIST.

Sigh, not like I wanna venture into this line. Why am I doing this to myself..

Totally ashamed to say that I've only had 3-4 lessons this..YEAR.
Got it, this year. And my darling teacher is nagging me non-stop for lesson :/
C'mon, let's postpone grading till next year! HEHE.
Stuck for 3 years? hahahahahaha.
I seriously didn't mean to slack off~~~ but~~~
Haiya, lazy la lazy la.
Next year lo. Finish grading also no diff :/

Alright. On the bright side! I'm going Dream with Jack and other babes on Friday!
His last clubbing trip before he flying off to China for the Competition.
Pray hard he get something thr~~
This pro ass (y)

And and and! 35 more days till end of Internship! Ooooh! Happy or what! :D
Mere would be back from USA too! that woman is totally enjoying herself there man.
I'm totally jealous ):

Shall start practicing tonight, sighhh.. IF I'm not going out. :x

Loves,
Caitlin
(Back to my sleeping table *yawn*)