28th March 2014 would be the day I officially let go of everything.. you will be my past and always be the past.
No one shall ask, no one shall speak of it.
These 3 years were my lowest point in life.
Drinking, getting drunk, cutting, slitting, smoking..
everything i did to get over you.
Things that may seem stupid seems logical at those moment.
Recently, i've watched a couple movies and it made me wonder..
was i down with depression? It was scary.
The way they expressed the feelings of the actor was so detailed, it really felt so.
It brought back those memories and thoughts i had when i made my decisions to do those certain things.
It was the ecstasy.
These shall remain as past and foolish choice of my own.
I blame no one but myself.
Addiction is however an addiction.
I took so long to get over the addiction of cutting and slitting myself.
I may still do it once in a while, but the temptation is no longer as great as last time.
I made efforts to stop and quit.
Well, determination is the key.
And the issue is, i dont have enough.
May the day be good and end with a wonderful smile.
Caitlin
