From a new colleague to lunch buddy and now to idk.
Was I too annoying that I pissed you off?
Looking back when I first joined, I didnt struggle much. There wasnt much for me to do initially anyway.
I doubt the importance of my existence.
Backstabbed for being racist when I can get along with all the staff while my colleague cant, on my first month.
I doubt my credibility.
Being disliked by my first dept customer just because I'm righteous.
I doubt the society's honesty.
After transferring to my second dept, I see a whole new range of staff. Every time they do something wrong, i doubt my ability.
I still do.
All along, i keep telling myself to hang in there because it's my first job. Everyone keep telling me, it might be because of your age. I admit age plays a part, but if no one is there to correct you or let you know the things you do is right or wrong.. then it is no longer about the age.
Sometimes I am just that dense.. I don't feel anything, and I need people to tell me in the face the purpose of something. Sorry that I am not that intelligent.
Over this one year and going 4 months, I still question myself if I am fit for this position. I really wonder if I have this job by luck or what.
For someone without knowledge in this field, I plunged in with a high but non-exec position. For someone that was not even 20 yet, this position is not even suitable.
I used to have a colleague who will send me to and fro home, and along the way.. he will keep planting positive thoughts in my head whenever I am feeling pessimistic. He left not long after I joined as a full timer. That one month plus were nothing but hopeful and joyful to me.
After I changed to my second dept, I met a colleague who was equally optimistic as the previous colleague. Someone with a higher and different type of humour.
Though it is also a new department, there is so many things to handle.. unlike my first department which is also relatively new. So many times I want to give up.
I keep wondering.. why is the new one in a new 4th party account? But I told myself, if I can survive this.. I can survive anything else.
I really don't know how long I can last though..
Putting full time work aside, I'm glad I survived my first semester as a part time student.
Just waiting for exam results to be out on 17th Dec!
While my 'school holiday' starts, I can get busy with the music recording with my Vesak peeps!
Target to finish '小幸运' recording and MV by end of the year. Abit late to catch up with the trend but well, still our first step.
Meanwhile, we are still recording our '悟' soundtrack. First attempt was not bad but quite rusty, gonna have a few more attempts before we finalise our first release of MV.
Got abit bored while staying over at Aunt's house over the weekend.. I wrote the lyrics of the song into its title, looks pretty not bad although the proportion is abit off. Just trying to self-console myself, Good attempt! Hehe.
