I've changed!

I dont know how to say.. I'm thinking more, caring less. hmm.. however you put it as.

Pay is finally in today! But i lost my DBS iB Secure device.. so another twenty bucks is gone! D:
Keep thinking of buying stuffs..
first thing i bought with my pay, is portable charger..
okayys.
then tomorrow going Causeway to buy that sweat from uniqlo, $40! D:
and i have to buy flats for the upcoming performance, cos mine spoil le~
i keep wanting to buy this and that.. i feel so..unlike me. haha.

Was on the way home.. suddenly i think of the straws.
haha, i mean it's a common and insignificant thing.. but..
i remember once my ex-colleague told me.. eeyer, the straw got no plastic covering! so unhygienic.
Just because gongcha's straws always have packaging..and when we have no stock..they dont, means he wont drink..
Then wad about the normal shops that sell drinks in school? ain't the straws all in the box, isnt that as unhygienic..
or rather, your expectation in life is higher and you refuse to go back to your previous low standard?

am i turning like that?

yesterday during practice.. i was thinking.
Just because one thinks he/she is very good in something and nobody corrects him/her.. he/she would start to feel very superior, would start to feel proud..
am i behaving that way?
no one ever seems to correct me.. they just sing praises.
wad can i do.. smile and say no lurh..
maybe they aint telling the truth..
tbh, i really dunno where my standard is..
because no one has actually strived before..
I've forgotten the times when we all try and compete each other in practice songs..
now, i'm on my own..
with just my teacher and i..
if she dont correct me, if she dont tell me the truths.. i'm dead.

sometimes, even when my teacher praises me..
i doubt.
i'm afraid.
Afraid that it was just to humour me and make me buck up..
i dont dare to believe, i dont dare to trust..
wad should i do..
sighh..

Gonna head for bed.
Feeling lightheaded the whole day, dizzy when i stand.
oh well, i might be just overly tired.
haha.
Gonna turn in now, though it's just 7.35pm!

Loves,
Caitlin