Last week of my first full-time job

Time flies.. I'm already counting down to the last day of work.

After clearing two weeks of Annual Leave for my uni sem exam, I'm left with 5 working days.
Coming back to work feels weird, like everything seems so foreign.

Maybe I'm too looking forward to my new job which is starting next Monday.

I am aware that everyone is waiting to see my result there and they have rather high expectations.
Hopefully, I don't kill myself there.

Anyway, I made terrariums again.
but this time round, it is given as a farewell gift.
Quite nicely done I would say.. hehe.

To be honest, I will definitely miss the place and the people.

Even though the place and environment isn't really the usual workplace a teenager would want to work in, I find this area rather homely after a period of time.

During the 2 weeks of leave, some of the guys texted me saying that they missed my presence.
Regardless is break time, smoke break or journey to and fro woodlands/workplace.
I think you feel comforted that your leaving will have an impact on others. At least you wont feel so lonely.

Since most of the people in my work site are male, does that explains why most of them are like father figures to me. Charming men. hahaha.

I guess it's time I take a mental break.
I can stop behaving like a work-no-life adult.

I can and need to reprioritize my own life.

Time to quit and move on

Working here used to be a joy.
I look forward to work everyday.
Regardless of how hard the work is, I look forward.
I am willing to come back and work even though I am on MC.
That was how much I loved my work.

Loved.

After 1 year and 8 months, I decided I've had enough of this place.
I am on a job hunt again.
Spamming resumes to all sort of jobs, like planner, tourism and even customer service.

http://jobsearch.about.com/od/resignation/fl/Warning-Sings-You-Need-a-New-Job.htm
Strike All.

I cannot deny that I learnt a lot here.
But, not in terms of operations.
I learnt how to hold my anger and not vend on anyone.
I learnt how to contain my emotions and smile at the rest.

Still, I have not kicked my bad habit of cutting.

I am just like an elastic band.
I can stretch far and wide, but..
If you keep on stretching without considering about my condition.. I will snap.

Like I said, I don't vend on anyone.
I vend on myself.
Cutting, drinking.. I blame myself for being such a weakling, unable to withstand whatever they want.
I have to admit, I am not as strong as everyone think I am.

Sometimes, you have to catch the seriousness in my joke.
Sometimes, my joke is the truth.
If no one believe, then so be it.
Don't say I never mentioned.
Problem is, I did and no one believed.

I don't understand why should there be politics.
Everyone is out to earn money together, why make life so difficult.
Why frame ppl to earn some unseen credits.
Why can't you adults help each other and improve together.

To be honest, after working for this period of time..
I still don't have the sense of being this company's staff.
I hate it when people give you the 'Wow' look.
No people, look. It's no as good as you think it is.

I am not tasked to do things that is my responsibility because I have no access to company's intranet.
I have no access to company's stuff despite my position.

I am tired of thinking how things could have been better.
No point thinking so much anyway.

Shall rest my case and find a new job, perhaps a boyfriend too :p

Lovesick

Lovesick is like homesick.
Homesick people are away from home but want to be home. 
Lovesick people are away from love and want to be in love.

You know you are in trouble when you experience the following:
- Smile to yourself for no reason
- Overreacting with your imagination (Esp. Female)
- Keeping little things as memories

A single touch will make your heart flutter.
A single word can make your heart skip a beat.

Endless memories to remember.
Worse when you have a good memory.

The smile, smell, reaction, expression.. everything.

Feeling like a schoolgirl again.

Working life (POV of a 21yo)

Society says that we are the strawberry generation.
Damaged with a little hard pinch.

Who are we to blame? The schools for not teaching us how to survive this society?
Are we not too educated in terms of words and not life?

After 3 years of polytechnic studies and working for going two years, I still do not understand why is Amaths or Engineering maths relevant to our work.
Do you mean my customers or my boss might suddenly ask me what is sin x?

At the age of 21, I have to handle 6 staff in one department.
Yea, sounds easy right. What if I say these 6 are worse than handling a class of primary school students..

I have been teaching students of all age since I was in upper primary. I was even given chances to teach elderly on a one-to-one basis. None of those made me as stressed as I am now.

Like my colleague told me, times have changed. Staff don't follow instruction just because they are given instructions. They need reasons for the instructions.

For the past 4 years of working as event coordinator, part timers and ad-hocs, I have never met such unreasonable human beings before. Maybe my luck have ran out. My team is fucked up.

Being a short tempered and rebellious child since young, I have to admit that my tolerance level is so high that even my own friends are shocked.

After stepping into the society, I realized.. Singapore education is not helping students blend into the society. After my first year of work, having internship with the most fucked up student seems like a piece of cake.

Things I used to do when I'm upset or stressed, are not allowed because I am in the society.
I stopped drinking, because I always have work the next day.
I stopped hanging out late, because I always have to wake up early the next day.
I cannot vend my emotions on social media, because I cannot talk bad about my colleagues or company.
I cannot meet my friends often, because I am always tired by the time I end work and reached my house area.

Weekends, public holidays and leaves are all used to replenish sleep.
However, your body clock is so screwed that you will still wake up very early.
You have hard time falling back to sleep but your brain is refusing to move an inch.

So many things to express, so many things to cry over..
Hate looking so strong, my insides are crumpling down.

I seriously need a drink. HAIS.